Weekly Guest Blogger of the Month

First off, i would like to let you all know that for 3 days in a row my blog had exactly 7 views.  Ideally, I would want this number to be increased by about 500,000 daily, but in folklore and myth the seventh son of a seventh son is a wizard.  I think this augurs great things for my future posts.  For instance, the day right after those 3 days of seven views had 16 views.

Speaking of views, ive subscribed to some other blogs and constantly wonder how big their audience is.  It cant be much bigger than mine

Pictured: My audience

But the way most bloggers talk, it sounds like everyone in the world is reading what they write about.  They have “guest bloggers” which are exactly what they sound like.  Guest blogging is an insidiously brilliant way to get more people to read your page.  For instance, say there is someone who has a dedicated following of thousands of readers.  I could get this person to guest blog on my page and siphon ALL of his or her viewers, at-least for a one day, skyrocketing my blog into superstardom.  Therefore, i would like you to welcome my guest blogger of the month: Cardinal Salvatore Bruchetti, the 124th Vatican Warlock Assassin Commander.

Note:  If you are not familar with Charlie sheen, just watch 


The Cardinal

There has been alot of talk in the news lately about “assassins” and “warlocks” and “vatican” and i decided to guest post on this fantastic blog to clear the air; it’s all true. Since the great rift war of the mid 7th century the vatican defense council has kept a reserve unit of vatican warlock assassins in order to find and close any rifts to other dimensions that open from time to time.  Before I continue I would like to point that  ALL of these vatican warlock assassins are unpaid volunteers.  They dont see a dime for their noble sacrifices so please, show them some respect.

VWA’s are highly trained, super powerful win-o-mancers who are learned in the thaumaturgical arts of victory.  Training typically lasts anywhere from 10-20 years before a VWA is able to effectively combat rift demons and close the tears in space time that such creatures create.  If just ONE rift demon was loosed upon the world, the consquences would NEVER BE THE SAME.  Ever heard of a thing called armageddon?  Thats NOTHING compared to the power of a single rift demon.  Fortunately, we have VWA’s to combat these horrible evils.

A typical rift demon uttering his terrifying challenge.

Yes, Charlie Sheen is a VWA, the most decorated one in our long history.  Please show him some respect fort the good work that he does.

Pictured: Winning

And incase you people thing it is “funny” or “cool” or “lulz” to make fun of Charlie, let me tell you that he is literally addicted to winning.  If he doesnt win at everything always, he goes through horrible withdrawals that cripple his warlock powers for hours on end.  WE CANT AFFORD THIS. If Charlie isn’t leading around his band of VWA’s (called a troupe) the world might very well end.  So please, lay off Charlie sheen, the future depends on it.

Peace be with you

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